grey

it's this huge cloud

grey, with shades of white and black

spots of black all over

bits of light shining through it

but most of it is grey

hard to see through

it's even worse than being black

at least black does not give you a hope of seeing through it

but the grey?

you know that you know what lies ahead

but it's still clouded

you know you want to know what lies ahead

but the bits of black in the grey

don't let you see clearly

the light shining through the cloud?

i wish i could make myself fit through those holes of light

and break free

but something clings on to me

not letting me fit in those gaps

not letting me be flexible enough

and be free

something that loves grey

something that can never know the difference between black and white

but always, only grey

something that doesn't have the courage

to follow the light

but is stuck forever

behind this cloud of grey

something that even knows what the light will lead to

knowing I need to go beyond this cloud

it holds on to all the things on this side of it

beyond this, is liberation

but here, there is comfort

this something just clings on and seems like it will never let go..

i think i know what it is.

i call it me.