grey, with shades of white and black
spots of black all over
bits of light shining through it
but most of it is grey
hard to see through
it's even worse than being black
at least black does not give you a hope of seeing through it
but the grey?
you know that you know what lies ahead
but it's still clouded
you know you want to know what lies ahead
but the bits of black in the grey
don't let you see clearly
the light shining through the cloud?
i wish i could make myself fit through those holes of light
and break free
but something clings on to me
not letting me fit in those gaps
not letting me be flexible enough
and be free
something that loves grey
something that can never know the difference between black and white
but always, only grey
something that doesn't have the courage
to follow the light
but is stuck forever
behind this cloud of grey
something that even knows what the light will lead to
knowing I need to go beyond this cloud
it holds on to all the things on this side of it
beyond this, is liberation
but here, there is comfort
this something just clings on and seems like it will never let go..
i think i know what it is.
i call it me.
